Tony has got this fatherhood thang down.
Here he imparts wisdom to the newbies:
1. Never argue with an angry new mother. Just sneak out of the house and come back after a few hours once Hurricane "[insert mother's name here]" has passed.
2. Learn to make difficult choices. You have two hands. How do you handle a baby, TV remote and a beer at once?
3. Time management is important. Give yourself at least 10 minutes to turn off the football game, pick up the chips on the sofa and put some clothes on the baby before mom comes home.
4. Adjust your musical tastes to include Classical music at low volumes. There's a reason why AC/DC's "Back in Black" is not a lullaby option on any baby products.
Here he imparts wisdom to the newbies:
1. Never argue with an angry new mother. Just sneak out of the house and come back after a few hours once Hurricane "[insert mother's name here]" has passed.
2. Learn to make difficult choices. You have two hands. How do you handle a baby, TV remote and a beer at once?
3. Time management is important. Give yourself at least 10 minutes to turn off the football game, pick up the chips on the sofa and put some clothes on the baby before mom comes home.
4. Adjust your musical tastes to include Classical music at low volumes. There's a reason why AC/DC's "Back in Black" is not a lullaby option on any baby products.
5. Change diapers promptly. Mom will not be impressed if you hold the World Record for the heaviest, non-leaking diaper.
1 comment:
Glasshoppha: You must go back and learn the prime directive, which you almost got, of all home tranquility: IF MOMMA AIN'T HAPPY, NOBODY IS HAPPY!
geo
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